Content reviewed by Christian Losch, LCSW, LCADC, CEO of Pinelands
You may be well aware that entering recovery means facing many physical and mental challenges. However, you may be surprised to realize that one sizeable challenge typically faced is a loss of identity. Changing your relationship to drugs and alcohol is just the beginning. Given that you are making significant, long-term lifestyle changes, it is inevitable that you will also experience specific personality changes.
You may be resistant to change as you enter addiction recovery.
Although these changes are normal, they can cause you to feel uncomfortable and confused at times. When you encounter memories involving previous substance use, you may experience an unnerving sensation at the thought of how much you have changed since then. Though these changes are necessary and helpful. If you have just finished an intensive residential treatment program, the fact that you have changed so much in such a short amount of time can be incredibly overwhelming. In a matter of weeks or months, you have begun to shed an old identity and build a new, more authentic sober identity.
Shedding an old identity is a loss. Like losing a loved one, a pet or a job, this loss involves acknowledgment and grief. You truly have lost a part of yourself along the recovery journey. Even though it is technically a good loss, this does not mean that it should go unnoticed. By properly allowing yourself to grieve, you can begin to let go of your old identity and accept your new, sober self.
It is important to remember your inner child.
Becoming a new version of yourself can be utterly frightening. However, it can be helpful to engage in activities that acknowledge and nurture your inner child. Your inner child is the part of yourself with the same desires, wants, and needs you had when you were young. This part of yourself never left but instead may have been forgotten. By catering to the desires of your inner child, you can strengthen your sense of self while also taking care of needs you may not have realized existed. Some ways to reconnect with this part of yourself include:
- Listening to songs you liked when you were a child: Hearing songs you enjoyed as a child can give you a sense of comfort during stressful times. Looking back to a simpler time in life can provide you with nostalgic contentment and even remind you that you are much more than your addiction. A time existed when addiction did not influence your life, and this activity can be a great reminder of that.
- Let your inner child speak: Rather than journaling about your current life situation, try journaling from the perspective of your inner child. Since this may be uncomfortable at first, it can be helpful to journal in script format to give your inner child a distinct identity. During this journaling session, try to let the thoughts and feelings of your inner child flow out freely. Maybe this part of yourself expresses feelings of boredom, sadness or general frustration. Giving your inner child the space to say these things can be an excellent way for you to accept this part of yourself and even begin to incorporate it into your daily life. In this way, a part of yourself remains constant despite the constant change you may be enduring.
It is OK to take time to grieve the loss.
Like any other kind of loss, you need to take the time to grieve your loss properly. Losing a part of your identity is a major shift, and it is ok to feel sad, angry and happy all at the same time. Therefore, it is crucial to engage in activities or practices that allow you to openly and freely express your grief in various ways that feel authentic and meaningful to you. Below are some different methods to help you grieve your loss of identity and begin to accept the new you.
- Lift weights
- Go on a walk
- Sit in peace and quiet
- Listen to instrumental or sentimental music
- Journal your thoughts and feelings
- Talk with a friend
- Allow yourself to rest
- Scream and yell in private
- Hit a punching bag
- Create a song or piece of art
- Cry
Grief can last any amount of time and present an array of emotions. Allow yourself to take the necessary time to mourn your loss of identity and feel all the feelings you may experience. Given this uncomfortable stage in your addiction recovery journey, it is essential to ensure your well-being by maintaining the parts of yourself that you have come to know and love and grieving the parts of you that no longer serve you.
Identity loss and confusion are prevalent yet frightening parts of addiction recovery. However, this process helps you shed old, harmful ways of life and develop new, healthy habits. If you need assistance with this part of your journey to recovery, connect with us at Pinelands Recovery Center of Medford. We know how important your sober identity is, but we also want to help you acknowledge the loss of your old self in order to move forward. We are here to provide you with care, comfort, and the skills required to assist you during this time. Call (877) 557-5372 today to learn more.